Self-Care: It's a Marathon, not a Sprint

If you were to ask me last month, "How are you?" My response would have been: exhausted, anxious, determined, angry, sad, optimistic, inspired. All of these emotions are related to the current political climate in the U.S., but they're compounded by the energy I get from folks who are speaking up about politics and current events, and figuring out what they can do, and doing it. The election and the start of the new administration have been devastating in some ways, but I don't know any so-called snowflakes who have just collapsed and stopped working or functioning in society. Instead, so many people have realized they have the capacity to make a phone call, sign a petition, and/or show up for a protest or rally. As one of my former classmates was quoted in the NY news:

I am deeply upset at what's happening in my country. I just feel like, with these executive orders, really helpless as a citizen. So it's the least I can do, to show up. Just show up.

In the midst of chaos the new POTUS was creating, this reaction was heartening. My hope for everyone, in participating in and uphold democracy for loved ones and strangers  (while simultaneously working on their careers and relationships and hobbies... you know, living their lives) also remembers their responsibility to take care of themselves.

Self-care is something I have never been an expert on, so sometimes I even have to stop and think: Just take care of yourself. Every couple years or so, I can stop and go on a long, adventurous vacation, but most of the time I have to find everyday practices that help me be mindful in the midst of everything going on. I find that approaching self-care from three sides really helps: physical, mental, and spiritual (which for me is community-focused).

One night I cooked dinner and the warmth and scent in the kitchen relaxed me even before I even ate. I'd realized I'd been getting away from healthy cooking and have been trying to do more meal planning and weekend meal prep. Exercise has been in short spurts the last couple of weeks (the rain also didn't help), but I signed up for some new weekend classes (once with a friend for a bootcamp class they really liked), and it's felt good to sweat some stress out and strengthen my body, bit by bit. And it's felt good to go for a run now that the rain has stopped. Also, it had been months since I got a salon pedicure (hey, winter!), so it felt amazing to sit down in the chair this weekend and have my feet taken care of while I started a new book.

At work, I also got to attend a two-day Search Inside Yourself workshop sponsored by my company, and I felt invigorated and optimistic by the end of it. There were maybe ~60 other folks there from functions all over the company, learning about self-awareness, mindfulness and emotional intelligence. They had a great segment on self-compassion and kindness and how they go a long way to promoting peace, in terms of helping you cultivate your own leadership skills. At another point they brought up Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning (which I had loved reading in college) and discussed how we can stop and process things before we react to something triggering. I found the workshop powerful and something I will have to incorporate into my life long-term, so I may have more to write about it later on.

Elizabeth Spencer winery tasting room

Finally, spending time around loved ones is a big way for me to nurture my spirits. After a couple weeks of rainy weather here in NorCal, a friend texted suggesting we all head up to Napa that weekend, which had a forecast of sun. So on Sunday, over wine, then a picnic, then some beer flights (& a green smoothie for myself), we all caught up and only barely discussed politics. I was also delighted to get a pop-up dinner invite from another friend - showing someone you're thinking of them and want to spend time with them seems like a small gesture but it goes a long way.

picnic grounds @ V Sattui

So that's my self-care approach distilled to three aspects of life. It can't all be done at once, but when I can sprinkle these things into my daily routines, I definitely feel like I'm better off. I'll wrap this up with a quote from a powerful article (an oldie but a goodie): 

"we can improve our lives and the lives of those around us. We can even construct a system that fulfills our founders’ promises and empowers all Americans to pursue happiness." A Formula for Happiness

Resolution

SF MoMA

In a lot of ways 2016 was personally great (loved ones got married, engaged and brought babies into this world; my husband and I both transitioned to new aspects of our jobs; I got involved with a wonderful organization, and I generally got to enjoy another year of good health and fun adventures in California) but I was still happy to see it go. My friend had the brilliant idea of going out with a bang, in the form of a wonderful feast with friends. So on NYE we had a private dining room at a San Francisco restaurant, filled with 9 fantastic people, amazing food and delicious wine. I will always remember that meal and am grateful my friend thought of putting it together.

And now, we're fully in 2017, not just feet wet but hair dunked, body temperature acclimated. There aren't any totally new habits I want to do this year that I didn't start on already- eating healthy, exercising more. All the usual self-care, wellness and fitness habits I know to do but need to actually do. The hosts and guest on my favorite podcast Another Round were discussing the difference between telling people you'll do something (like going to the gym) and actually doing it. Anyway, as I get older, self-care moves to front of mind so that I can be in good shape to take care of other things.

And those other things? Well the 2016 election taught me I can't take democracy for granted. So in 2017 I have to keep learning what's going on, finding ways to make my voice heard and find a way to make an impact where I am. Last summer thanks to a friend's suggestion, I started working with a children's organization in San Francisco; this was meant to help underprivileged kids right in my city, but it has already impacted me immensely. 

I also want to remember to speak up more, in different channels. For a long time I did not put political views on social media; in fact I have had a tenuous relationship with social media and like to think I should just be living IRL. But I'd like to learn how to use tech to advance democracy. This is one article in WSJ that I found suggesting some nonpartisan tools to track government. I also downloaded Countable, an app for tracking government, and am finding it easy to use. I joined the Women's March in San Francisco this weekend - again, thanks to brilliant friends - and resolve to keep the inspiration and energy from the event in my heart going forward, and to continue to turn it into action.

photo from Buzzfeed

And finally on the fun side, I want to do more West Coast exploring this year and am starting to make those plans. I also have loved ones getting married this year so I'll be traveling to celebrate with them (I've got one bridesmaid dress ready and am about to order another one). So among other things, there will be a lot of fun in 2017.

Life Lately: Around the Bay

Crissy Field

The past few weeks have been filled with a little of everything: a visit from my brother when he was finally introduced to the glory of Philz Coffee; another tubing trip down the Russian River when I got a little too much sun; a visit to Everlane; a viewing of Beautiful the Carole King musical, which I had been wanting to see back East on Broadway but was pleasantly surprised to learn had actually started in San Francisco; a day at a beautiful spa with girlfriends; and of course outings around San Francisco (finally) enjoying our Indian summer. Here's a round up:

Self Care and Clean Eating: a Whole30 Review

 

A couple months back I took on the Whole30 diet, which is 30 days of clean eating: no alcohol, dairy, grains, legumes or added sugar. It was a rough start, since I do love bread and cheese, but then I quickly appreciated how my body felt and how much energy I had without these foods. I kept a food diary and focused on the great meals I actually was having that were tasty and truly nourishing.

I ended the 30 days in late May, then promptly went on vacation to France... of course while there I consumed plenty of rosé, cheese, bread, and desserts (on top of the fresh fruits, veggies, meat and seafood that I love). As much as I savored those treats while on vacation, now that I'm back home I am working on going back to (and maintaining) a mostly Whole30 way of eating. Here's what I learned from that experiment that I am trying to keep in mind:

• The Whole30 made me realize that my body was addicted to sugar and grains which I did not expect. Even though I rarely added sugar to my food (sometimes to coffee), I had to start paying attention to ingredients and now don't buy anything with sugar listed. I also had to think of other things besides rice and bread to include with my meals (cough cough, veggies, cough).
• Overall I had to put more effort into preparing my own food, which is something I had fallen away from in the past year. (I still remember this Michael Pollan op-ed, pointing out how our culture is all for watching cooking shows but not actually cooking). Making sure I could make some meals myself has been as big a part of self care as the quality of the food itself.
• I want to move away from mindless snacking and grazing to having real, structured meals. (Getting away from my desk for lunch is a big priority.) Whole30 cautions you away from snacking by having bigger meals, but that was a harder habit for me to adjust. So for now I just pay attention to what I snack on, being careful to stock nuts/trail mix instead of chips or candy. 
• Finally, going through the diet was a challenge, especially since I basically stopped some of those ingredients cold turkey, but it was never impossible. I started it when I did because a couple friends were doing it at the same time, but fortunately I was already aware of the teachings around it. All that helped me be prepared mentally to take it on, knowing that I had a support system. But in the end, it felt good to know that I really could do this. 

Some further reading if you're interested:

NYmag on breaking bad habits

Vice on the myths of clean eating and wellness (such a popular blog topic these days)